Birthday Cake
by AkatsukiStalkers-RebelQueens
Summary: Gaara's birthday comes around, and with a secret black mail he's forced to come over to the leaf by Naru and Sasu, so Sakura can throw his birthday party. little does Gaara know that the pair has planned an elaborate birthday present for him, all starting with a stripper cake, some ribbon, and a towel. Oh, if only Sakura had known the full plan... (M for Alex and Lemons) Oneshot


**Birthday Cake**

…

**Neko: firm warning to all readers. This story is rated ff's highest rating for a reason; and that reason can be described with 3 simple words. The first one, though not in the dictionary: GaaSaku. The second is a name and also not in the dictionary: Alex. Lastly, a word in the dictionary as a fruit; however to Fanfiction Jargon, it has its own meaning: Lemon.**

**Alex: Neko wrote a stooorrryyyyy, but didn't ever pooosssstttt it, so I found iiittttt, and I made it diiirrrrtttyyyy~~~!**

**Neko: like you always do.**

**Alex: hey, I'm a writer too. I need to practice my sexy writing skills. So, dear readers, do tell me how the lemon later on is in the one-shot.**

"I. Am not. Doing this." Sakura declared. Bluntly, crossing her arms. Glaring full throttle at Sasuke and Naruto. At the ribbon Sasuke held out to her, and the gigantic cake Naruto stood at.

"You gotta, Saku-chan!" Naruto whined, pushing the cake on an inch-off-the-ground-wheeled-platform. Though the white surface of the wheeling square reached only to Sakura's ankle, the cake itself on top of it reached clear to Sakura's mid-chest. It was also quite wide. 6 ft across.

Then again, the lower and mid levels were fake, and hollow. The top two layers were real. The whole thing was covered in icing, though, so that made up for it.

Sakura's arms tightened and her glare only hardened. "No. put INO in it, she loves doing stuff like this."

Sasuke blinked at Sakura's suggestion, "my girlfriend will not be jumping out of this cake."

She ignored him, mostly, the only indication she had registered his statement was the blunt middle finger flicking him off sent from her. Sakura blandly stated, "And neither will _I_."

Naruto whined, "Commmmme oooonnnnnn Sakura! It's his freaking _birthday_!" he pushed the cake a little closer. "Come on the guests will show up soon! And besides, if we had Ino or any of the other girls do it, they wouldn't pop out at the right time or shut up while they were inside!"

Sakura glared at him. "Hinata?"

"Fuck no." he stated in response. "Besides, she's _pregnant_. Happy freaking birthday, here's a pregnant girl? And hell to the no will my Hina be jumping out of this cake anyway.

Sasuke pushed the ribbons closer to Sakura. "We need to hurry up; someone's going to show up soon and it'll be spoiled."

"Let me rephrase this, since the two of you do clearly not understand the words I'm speaking." Sakura said slowly. "In _no_ possible alternate universe will I jump out of this cake in nothing but _ribbons_ for his _birthday party_."

Naruto whined, "Come _ON_ Sakura, you promised us last month!"

"BECAUSE I WAS DRUNK AT HINATA'S BIRTHDAY YOU IDIOT, I'M NOT DOING THIS!"

Sasuke suddenly advanced, launching at the pinkette. Caught off-guard, Sakura was tackled and pinned to the floor. He stared her down with a smirk. "If you don't do it, I'll make sure Tsunade-sama sends you on the nice, long, two-week mission with Gui, Lee, and Shino in my place next week."

Sakura starred up at him for a long time, "so that's why you took that mission…! YOU TOOK A DUMB-ASS MISSION LIKE THAT TO BLACK MAIL ME?!"

"yup." He said coolly.

Well damn. And boy did Sakura very much NOT want to go on that mission.

"Fine, damn it. Get off." When Sasuke quite literally rolled off of her, he left the ribbons- bright crimson red- behind in her lap. She growled in irritation, stripping off her shirt as she stood up. "I'm leaving on my underwear." Sakura growled, unclicking her bra as she turned away.

"Fine, fine, but that's it." Sasuke stated dully, where he now sat on the kitchen counter- they were at Sakura's house, since it was big and she lived alone. And of course the cake had been prepared in the kitchen, so its to-be filling would get in it in this room as well. (This is an exaggerated way of explaining that they are in the kitchen right now.)

"Aw, fuck you." She spat back, stripping off her ninja gear, medic over skirt, and black tight-fit shorts. She had been stripped in front of the pair before, like when they stopped at inns that had co-ed hot springs and stuff. They were almost her brothers, she had no cares.

However, being in only a ribbon in front of the full party? Yeah, that's a different story. Especially since there was a birthday boy, and he was particularly one she crushed on at the moment.

Sakura wondered as she fumbled with the ribbon -that, she noticed with surprising coincidence, matched her underwear. The coincidence scared her, really- why exactly they were making her do this. Neither was bright enough to detect her feeling toward the birthday boy. Must be a giant coincidence, since the aging-up teen of the day was much too dull toward females to have any form of interest in her. Or, any girl for that matter. At least, he didn't ever _show_ any interest.

And geeze, who would have thought the Kazakage would come all the way to Konaha just to celebrate his birthday with his Konaha-dwelling friends?

Yes; the birthday boy was none other than Gaara Subaku.

Little did Sakura know, that four months ago when her teammates had been on a two-person mission to Suna, Naruto and Sasuke had gotten Gaara drunk. And they had asked him a very interesting truth or dare question during a game. And though Gaara was aware they now knew his secret-and was deathly afraid that Naruto might tell someone since he's an idiot like that-, he was _not_ aware they had it on _video_.

Oh, this would be a fun birthday party. They had quite a bit planned. Too bad Sakura wasn't completely clued in. scratch that; if she was, she probably wouldn't do this to get out of 100 horrible missions with her creepy Konaha peers.

"Hey, Naruto, help me out!" she growled, getting confused with the tangled mass of ribbon.

The blonde laughed, and made his way over. Luckily, Hinata had showed him how to make fancy bows last Christmas, and had gotten quite good since he made one on everyone's birthday/holiday presents now. And with Naruto having so many friends (since he was a famous ninja of Konaha nowadays), that meant a lot of practice.

Naruto ted a fancy bow around Sakura's chest, successfully covering the necessities with a large, perfect-looking bow in the center. He ran the ribbon in a loose swirl down her midsection, then up again, bowing both ends at her wrists. With a second, smaller ribbon he replaced where here normal Konaha headband normally rested, with a large fancy red bow on top of her head. He took the last long ribbon, successfully wrapping over her underwear and hiding them perfectly with another bow to her left hip. Then the ends bowed once more at her ankles. Lastly, Naruto waved around a last, second short piece of ribbon.

Sakura shifted around, wanting to pull and tug at the ribbon, but didn't want to mess it up and expose something. That would be _quite_ embarrassing.

Naruto, still waiving about the cloth, called out, "hey, Sasuke! We got left over, what should I do? Just make another bow?"

Sasuke shrugged, "dunno. Hey, maybe Gaara's into S&M? Tie her mouth or blind fold her?"

There was laughing from all three, "HAH! Gaara and S&M. that sounds so weird yet possible." Sakura stated with more giggles. She looked back to Naruto, "here, tie it around my neck in a bow?"

Naruto nodded, tied a cute bow with the couple inches of excess loose on her back, and grinned brightly. He gave her a thumbs up, "you look positively perfect, little gift-chan!"

"That was lame." Sakura stated with a smirk.

Sasuke, who had been looking out the window through the curtain, jumped off the counter. "Ino is here with Tenten, Hinata, and Temari. You better get in the cake, Sakura; if Ino gets in on this, then everyone will know."

Sakura sighed, chuckling, as Naruto lifted off the real-cake top easily. Sasuke helped lift Sakura over the edge of the tall cardboard, iced cake, which even for her semi-brother she found a little awkward.

The pinkette sat down on her knees and looked up. "When's my cue?" she demanded.

Sasuke paused a second, "how about at the end of the birthday song?"

Sakura nodded, "right when Gaara goes to blow out the candles, someone tap the back of the cake."

Naruto grinned, "GOT IT!"

Then, the blonde gently lowered the cake-roof, and slid the cardboard holder out from between the hole and the edible top. When the time came, Sakura would plow straight through it.

And as she heard the pair walk away to let Ino and the girls in, who had volunteered to decorate the inside of the house according to the decorating instructions she had given Sasuke and Temari copies of to make sure they were done exactly as she wanted, Sakura noticed that the white wheeled thing under her had holes like ventilation, and was thankful. Rather not die of suffocation inside Gaara's birthday; she had spent way to long decorating the outside of her house last night to not see him on his birthday! Sadly, it was still hot in here… those idiots better get to the cake quick.

…

…

…

Gaara left the Hokage Tower, rolling his shoulder blades tiredly. He had just arrived in Konohagakure this morning and had spent a solid 4 hours in meeting with the Leaf Council with his siblings.

Yes, he had come to Konaha primly because Naruto had sent an invitation to come stay for his birthday- and right now his best friend currently had some good dirt on him, so he couldn't have refused if he wanted to. Though, honestly, he _had_ wanted to come. His birthday in Suna really only amounted to regular duties, the fangirls not leaving him alone to a whole new scale, and another session of complaints from his _own_ council about not having an heir and about how another year had gone by and how he 'wouldn't be young forever'.

Though, to cover up his actual vacation to visit friends in Konaha, Gaara was claiming to be on a diplomatic mission between the two countries. He did have quite a few things he needed to do, so his cover-up was doing some good. But really, not even the solemn Kazakage wanted to spend the early hours of his birthday, starting at dawn after arriving from a 3-day-trip, in a room full of irritating old geezers.

Konaha's council was even worse than Suna's. Gaara kind of felt bad for Tsunade.

Anyway, as Gaara stepped out of the building with Kankuro at his side- Temari having left early to go assist Naruto with some sort of party when Ino had come by the Kage tower- the pair set off for Sakura's house.

Gaara had been there a few times before; Sakura's house was where most of the 'parties' thrown took place. Sakura had a large house, on account of both being the Hokage's assistant, a good paying hospital-head jub, and having a nice inheritance, and lived alone. It had always been strange when the Kazakage was there, though.

He had been in Konaha for Christmas last month, for example. Sakura always handled everything, occasionally with assistance from either the girls or her teammates, and had managed a perfect Secret-Santa. He remembered walking up to the house, adorn with all sorts of Christmas décor, and then walked in to a literal Christmas village. He had been assigned to get Ino a gift, and still didn't know who had given him the 'hilarious' gag gift of sandbox tools and a LOT of sunscreen. It was either Lee or Kiba… at least, that was _his_ guess. Who knows?

Christmas at Sakura's had been great; she was a great hostess. He was quite curious to see how his birthday would end up.

He had been to quite a few of those parties, really. But this was the first birthday party he had been to for himself in her home. Is it weird to have your birthday party, in a foreign village, in someone else's house? It certainly _felt_ weird.

At least, it felt weird because it was Sakura's house, he reflected as he and Kankuro finally turned onto her street. He couldn't believe it when he woke up with a hangover and remembered how he had so carelessly blurted out his secret. In fact, it was a secret _Gaara_ hadn't even known until he had been drunk enough to announce it. Damn alcohol; the one time he gets drunk. The one time.

Silently cursing all alcoholic beverages in his head, Gaara looked up to his brother when Kankuro stopped walking. The purple-faced teenage was gapping and grinning at the same time. Scary.

Gaara turned, and there, two houses down, was Sakura's house.

It was cold this January, and there was snow everywhere. Some of the montage of Christmas lights were still up- the red glowing ones along the walkway to the front double-glass-doors, the normal bright white ones lining said doors and every frosted window, and the multi-colored flickering ones lining the roof. The slanted roof, covered neatly in a flat level of snow, appeared to be spray painted with dark red; the shape of his love-kanji. A thin banner stretching the entire span of the house and read in bright red letter "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAARA!", and the normal brick walkway to the door was replaced with very fine yellow-ing sand, bright against the white snow lawn that was neat and flat. The only oddity on the far-too-neat lawn, was a snow man. Dressed in mock Kazakage robes and hat, and even a gourd on its back.

"Sakura really goes all out." Kankuro stated with a grin.

"…indeed." Gaara agreed slowly, in shock. Wow. Just, just wow. Spray painting his signature tattoo on the roof snow was pretty unique.

At this point in time, Kakashi and Gui were just walking up the pathway, Gui's male squad members - as Tenten had shown up earlier- just behind, talking to each other. Lee seemed to notice the pair and stopped, "HEY, GAARA-SAN, KANKURO-SAN! WHY ARE YOU ONLY STANDING? THERE IS A PARTY INSIDE!"

Kankuro chuckled and Gaara rolled his eyes. However, the redhead could not help the smirk building up on his face. How can you not feel happy when you're going to a party for your birthday when the outside, the OUTSIDE alone, has been completely personalized for you? Tis' a little heartwarming.

The small group waited for the pair to catch up to them, and together made to enter. However, first, Kakashi reached over to tell the Kazakage to close his eyes. Gaara rolled them before complying, and Kankuro guided his younger brother up the last half of the path and finally into the gust of warmth he clarified to be inside. About time, too. The dessert dweller found he very much disliked the cold season his Birthday resided in within all other countries.

"Gaara, you're here!" Naruto cheered, "come on, you can look now!"

Gaara blankly slid his eyes open. They stretched wide in shock.

Basic party, and mostly Gaara's expectations: streamers, balloons, a table of food and some cake, maybe even some gifts sitting around.

What he had walked into: the Christmas lights that are white and twinkle lined the walls at the ceiling, long black and red streamers adoring said white flat roof and trailing down until just out of reach. A surprising sized mountain of gifts in a nearby corner. A long, black-table-clothed table loaded with food, amongst he noticed his favorites and much more, including that dread alcohol- which at the moment he could not care for- but also Sakura's signature fruit-and-sake-punch that had come to be called Petal's Punch, on account of the pink color matching 'Petal's' hair. That stuff was good, and Sakura laced it with her healing chakra so that it didn't give you hangovers or alcohol poisoning, and at the same time actually taste 1000% better than any other alcohol. The hard-wood floor of the living room was LITERALLY covered in sand. Shiny red tinsel decorated around edges of tables, and strange white pillows decorated with the love Kanji were on the couches. Balloons of all colors had the signs painted on them as well, tied where ever they could fit.

"…wow…" was all Gaara managed.

There were cheers of accomplishment as they left Gaara speechless, Temari coming out of literal no-where to give her baby brother a tight hug, not surprised he didn't really hug back but at the same time very happy that he let her hug him.

Gaara looked around. It seemed he had been a part of the last group to arrive, everyone was already here and hanging around. After a moment, though, he noticed 4 people missing. First was Shikamaru- whom he located a heart beat later sleeping on the couch. However the other three really weren't here; Naruto had just suddenly disappeared, and he had yet to see Naruto's figurative brother Sasuke, of the owner of the house and thrower of the party, Sakura.

Ino appeared at his side talking to Tenten and Hinata, and he found his thoughts were mimicked. "Have you seen Sakura, tenny? It's HER house; shouldn't she be here by now? I mean, KAKASHI got here before her."

Tenten shrugged, "at this rate, Tsunade will get here before Sakura, too, and Tsunade can't come for another hour to wrap up with the council." Poor Tsunade, she's still with the old bats.

Hinata quietly told them "I tried asking Naruto-kun, but he got all twitchy and flustered and started making excuses. Now he and Sasuke-kun won't leave the kitchen for longer than to get Punch."

Gaara decided asking Naruto would be the best course of action to find the pinkette; he clearly knew; Naruto was horrible at lying. Gaara wanted to find and thank Sakura for having Naruto invite him to this party. This, honestly, could be considered his first actual birthday party. Since becoming hokage, there had been many thrown he had been invited too, but he never really knew many of the people at them and as their Kage they walked on eggshells which made things very awkward. This place was so much better.

He walked into the kitchen, to find the pair of males here just as he had heard, as well as Sai, Kakashi and someone Gaara couldn't say he knew too well, short black hair and black eyes, he had seen her around Tsunade a lot, and her name started with an…. An s… sizune? No, Shizune, that's it. The three unwanted were talking to each other; however the thing his two targets stood by seriously caused him shock. So there's the cake that was absent from the table…

It was… GIANT, sat in the middle of the room, and was a major shock. White icing decorated everywhere once more with red 'love' kanji, and sea foam green-blue detailing. Candles, one for each year of his life, sunk into the icing at the top.

"That is the most amazing cake I've ever seen." Gaara stated.

Sasuke and Naruto looked up in surprise at Gaara's shocked announcement. Naruto grinned, "GOOD! You know, _Sakura-chan_ made it just for _you_."

Sasuke had an evil grin, "hn. You know, she kept telling us about how she put a little of herself into it. Heart and soul."

_And the rest of her!_ Naruto though, laughing, as instead he said aloud, "though, you weren't supposed to see it yet… _she wanted to surprise you_!"

Sasuke and Naruto both laughed a little crazily, making Gaara twitch. "Will you both shut _up_? There are way too many people here."

The pair of teammates exchanged a smirk. Gaara would remain clueless; he thought they were talking about his secret.

Ah, poor, clueless Gaara.

"Ah, man, don't worry, we won't tell no one." Naruto purred cheekily, patting Gaara's back.

Sasuke stretched a little, "of course not. At least, not for now." He offered another evil grin, "What good is blackmail if we can't ever use it?"

They laughed Again, and Gaara, irritated, tapped his foot until they calmed down again. "Whatever," he said when they finally had. "Well, where IS she, then? I find that I should thank her for inviting me to this social gathering."

Sasuke made quite the fake sad-ish face; very convincing, even to Gaara. Poor, poor clueless Gaara, who didn't know it was fake. "I hate to be the one to tell you, Gaara, but Sakura's out on a date."

Naruto glanced off to the side, as if he was trying to avoid Gaara's gaze, but really he was just trying to hide the grin on his face.

Gaara stood there. Floored. "…what?"

Sasuke shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "Well you see, she's actually gotten quite serious with this ANBU guy… she couldn't break this date."

The red head just sat there. "But… she planned this! How can she… not be here…?!"

Naruto looked up, suddenly with his best sad-acting face. "Gaara… man, look, I'm sorry… but she's really serious with this guy now. There's talk of the guy proposing."

Gaara stayed silent for the longest time. All he did was look between them. Stare at them both.

"Oh."

Gaara was quiet a long time again, then turned and sauntered away. He left to go find some dark corner of the decorated living room. To curl up.

…

As soon as Gaara had left the kitchen, Naruto hurried to the door way. When the blond deemed it safe, both started laughing crazily.

Sakura, who took this as a sign that it was safe- luckily the other occupants of the room had left while Gaara had been talking with the boys- angrily called out "and _who_ is planning to propose to me?"

"Pft, calm down. Think how shocked he'll be later when you jump out." Sasuke reminded.

Sakura, inside the cake and out of view, was allowing herself to look quite like she felt. Horrified and depressed. She wrung her fingers, hot inside the cake despite being pretty damn naked, her eyes closed tight.

Gaara. _Gaara, _the guy she was crushing on as bad as she once had Sasuke in academy- though thank god with a lot less fan-girl-ism and addiction- thought she had skipped out on _his birthday_ to go on a _date_.

Hell yes she blamed her two dumbass brothers, but at the same time knew this wasn't fully their fault; they were unaware just how much this cut her since they were too clueless to figure it out, and she had never told them.

She was still confused to why they would work the surprise like this, though. Since they _didn't_ know she liked Gaara, why were they going through this trouble of centering this 'gift' around her?

She spent a long while complaining until, on the lookout, Naruto exclaimed that Ino and Temari were coming and Sakura had to go silent once more. This left her with nothing to do but wonder why Naruto and Sasuke were playing up her not being here to Gaara.

_**You don't think…**_

_Self-centered much, inner darling?_

_**It would make sense, wouldn't it?**_

_About as much sense as Sasuke dying his hair neon pink._

_**That makes a LOT of sense; then we'd match!**_

_You're such an idiot._

_**I'm you, so that makes my idiocy your fault while at the same time you call yourself an idiot. So ha.**_

_You… wow, actually, that's pretty damn good. Fuck you and your epic comeback._

_**Thank you, thank you, I take great pride in my insults.**_

_Pft, whatever… do you really think so, though?_

_**Well they were a little too excited to stick us naked in a cake for GAARA of all people. And they are exaggerating us quite a bit, aren't they?**_

_That doesn't mean anything. Besides; aside from Tsunade- and like hell that would happen- we're the only single female from Konaha that Gaara knows. Of course we'd end up in the cake. _

_**Yeah, well… oh shut up, of course he's into us. We **_**are ALSO**_** the HOTTEST girl at this party.**_

_Yeah, whatever, I'm done talking to you._

Sakura went back to her hobby of trying not to move the ribbons around her while counting in her head, waiting. And waiting. And more bored waiting.

…

…

After about a half hour when Tsunade had finally got away from the council and joined the party, Naruto strolled out of the kitchen, and quite loudly announced for everyone's attention.

"IT'S TIME FOR CAKE YOU CREEPS! SOMEONE SEND THE PANDA UP HERE!"

Kankuro appeared beside Gaara, who had been sitting on the couch for the past 30 minutes brooding. While his brunette brother, who at some point gotten quite buzzed, literally dragger- and I mean hooked his arms under Gaara's and hauled the red head with his dragging feet- to the front of the room.

The amazing cake Sakura had made was rolled in by Sasuke, and those who hadn't seen it gasped. Everyone cleared backward, taking up couch space, while the Uchiha settled the cake in the center of the room- Sasuke lightly and very discreetly gave the bottom white roller a light tap, telling Sakura to face the directing of the sound as Kankuro pushed Gaara up straight to stand on his own in front of the semi-fake creation.

Before anything could be done, Naruto stepped up beside Gaara and tossed a shoulder around the Kazakage. "Now, while my lovely assistant Sasuke-kun lights the candles…" Sasuke growled and the crowd laughed as the Uchiha began to light them, like said, "We want to take a minute and appreciate what Sakura has done here. With the ladies' assistance, she has successfully created Gaara's Birthday party!"

Cheers went up all around, and Naruto continued when they had quieted, "however, sadly, Sakura-chan couldn't even make her own party. But, Sakura still wanted us to call so she can say happy birthday before Gaara blows the candles out!" more cheers erupted, and Naruto pulled out his cell phone.

(Yes I'm aware they didn't have cell phones stupid shut up it's my story godz)

Sakura knew this bit; they had already arranged it. Last night Sakura recorded a message to go on the phone- if only she had known she was going to have to be in a ribbon, and then she probably wouldn't have gone along with this at all.

Naruto pretended to call Sakura on speaker phone, when in actuality he was just selecting the recorded audio.

"_Hello?"_

"Sakura-chan, it's the party calling!"

"_Oh! How is everything going? The decorations up? Food good?"_

"Yes-sir-re, and we've got Gaara ready for his cake!" Naruto cheered. "Say hi, Gaara-chan!" Naruto elbowed the red head.

Gaara grunted. "Hello, Sakura."

The recorded voice responded cheerfully, _"hi Gaara-kun! Sorry I can't be there, but Happy Birthday! I promise, I'll get there soon! I'll see you in just a little bit, kay?"_

"Mm-hmm." Gaara said quite dully.

Naruto pretended to hang up after getting the whole crowd to cheer good bye and for her to hurry up and get here.

With the candles lit, Naruto shifted Gaara to be standing at them. Then, with the blonde leading the way, the party crowd began traditional birthday song.

"Happy birthday to you…" Sakura slowly shifted, moving slow to keep from moving the wheeled cart.

"Happy birthday to you…" Gaara stared at the flickering flames on the giant cake, wanting for its creator to have had the decency to have shown up to his party.

"Happy birthday, Kazakage…" Sakura placed her hands softly on the underside of the soft, squishy sponge of a cake, tensing.

"Happy birthday to YOU!" Gaara leaned forward routinely, preparing to blow out the candles, while not noticing Sasuke lightly tapping the cake's roller with his foot.

As sheering began for Gaara's blowing, the candles going out all at once, Sakura thrust upward.

The circular cake lifted up and slammed into Gaara's face, splattering it in all directions, and sending out a ripple of surprise through the watching crowd.

Naruto leaned in with a camera, taking a snapshot as Gaara whipped the cake from his face once with his hand, but then Gaara just allowed the always-present sand shield to fall off and crumble to the floor to leave him sparklingly clean.

Once his vision was clear, the students of Team seven grinned brightly (with the exception of Sasuke just smirking) and exclaimed "HAPPPY BIRTHDAY GAARA!"

Gaara blinked slowly, now in shock.

There was Sakura, half out of a cake, at a very large loss of clothing. "Oh." Gaara blinked, unable to say anything else, except for a second later adding smartly, "wow."

Sakura grinned as the room burst into laughter, and carefully pulled herself over the side of the cake, sitting on the edge as she moved one leg at a time, "happy birthday, Gaara. Like hell id miss this for some date with an ANBU."

"…oh." He said again, still staring. Sakura flushed pink in tune with Gaara's suddenly dense blush. Once again he proved his genius. "… uh… oh…"

…

Whilst Sakura was whisked away with every female who had attended the party to go change and be congratulated about the party and surprise, Naruto called to the male attendants left in the room.

"HEY GUYS! THE LADIES WILL TAKE FOREVER; SO SASUKE AND I HAVE AN IDEA!"

There were chuckled of agreement as, cheerfully Naruto twirled a disk on his finger. Sasuke smirked. "The editing team of Naruto and I have devised a little movie."

Gaara looked over from where he was still pink faced, drinking Petal Punch as lee drank a cup of apple juice. He was banned from alcohol… heh. He wondered to himself what the male team 7 members were talking about.

"But, first, before we do THAT, we have a guy's game for Gaara and his bros!" Naruto declared grinning, earning more laughter. "As it turns out, THE FOOD IS THE GAME."

Sasuke clarified to the confused people. "Inside something from the table is a piece of paper. Find it and you win the prize. Gaara is disqualified because it's his birthday."

"What's the prize?!" called Kiba, grinning.

"The prize is getting to tell someone one of Gaara's darkest secrets!" Naruto mewed with an evil look on his face.

Gaara's hand tightened and snapped the cup in his grip, his eyes wide and the anger evident on his face. "Naruto…"

Everyone looked to Gaara. _Extremely curious_.

The mob of males crowded to the table, meanwhile Naruto and Sasuke bolted up the stairs, Gaara following after them with a killing intent.

Chasing the bobbing blonde and black heads down the mostly un-lit hallway, he ground his teeth. "I'm going to kill you both!" he snarled.

To his surprise, they both poofed away into wavering clouds of smoke, then nothing.

Skidding to a halt, Gaara looked around, confused. As he skidded slightly, from the shadows beside him 4 hands lunged, two people who had now joined Gaara's murder list pushing said Kazakage into a dark room.

…

Meanwhile, downstairs, Kankuro cheered with a drunken slur, waving around a slip of paper he had just found tapped under the punch bowl. "I FOUND IT I FOUND IT!"

"What's it say?" demanded Lee, fists clenched in anticipation, his voice carried over the groans as Gaara's brother won.

He held it up, face smeared with purple paint, and gritted out, "good job… being distracted…" he paused, and looked up. "What? Who's distracted?"

"Where did Gaara, Naruto, and Sasuke go?" asked Neji, looking around with a raised brow.

…

The door slammed closed, whatever little amount of light from the dark hall cut off and casting the red-head into near-pitch black. He hit the wall on the other side of the space, discovering he had been shoved into a fairly large and mostly empty closet.

"Let me _out_." Gaara gritted, growling lowly, "before a _break_ out."

"You can't~!" Naruto's cheerful voice cooed.

"All the walls, doors, floors, and ceilings in Sakura's house are chakra-suctioning and extra strength so she doesn't destroy her own house every time she gets ticked off." Sasuke added, and Gaara could feel the slap of the smirk in his tone though the door.

_Damn it._

Sakura laughed, face overcome with a blush as Ino exclaimed again how perfect the ribbon-cake had turned out, wishing she had been in on it the whole time, before Temari snorted, again pointing out Ino's inability to not gossip and ruin the surprise.

Hinata, thoroughly plums since she was 5 months pregnant, ushered them along out of the large bathroom. Rather than two guest bathrooms, Sakura had sprung for the lavish, extravagant single bathroom, and wrapped in a towel as she emerged cake-bits free from behind the shower curtain, she was met with the girls all cheering her prank and discussing how red the Kazakage had been. Most were assuming it was a trick of his hair, as was Sakura.

"COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO GET YOU DRESSED!" Ino squealed upon Sakura's appearance from the shower.

"I call doing her make up!" Temari stated with a grin.

"I'm going to re-do her nails." Tenten said firmly.

"I'll make sure Ino doesn't send you out in a mini skirt and bra." Hinata said with a smile, making Ino pout in her own much-too-short strapless red dress.

Sakura giggled, opening the door as they pushed her into the hall. Not like that mattered, she had just popped out in nothing but ribbons in front of the entire party. The only thing more revealing then that is being completely nude.

Immediately, the squad of girls was intercepted.

"I'm sorry, ladies, but we promised Sakura a surprise since she was such a good sport for Gaara's birthday cake." Sasuke stated calmly.

"IT'S A SUPER SECRET SURPRISE!" Naruto cheered, grinning crazily as he hugged the captured pinkette in the towel.

There were cries of disappointment as the girls all headed for the stairs, not noticing the confused look Sakura gave Naruto. When both of her brothers grinned widely and _quite _devilishly at her, she shivered.

Before she knew what happened, Sasuke had quickly unlocked and opened the small closet-room that normally was used for storing part supplies and holiday things- which now occupied her room as a complete mess. Naruto, at an unreal speed, picked her up under her arms, twirled her around, and set her down so quick she was left dizzy at the commotion. The door was slammed closed behind her.

"…wha?" she called out dumbly, and Sakura stood there in shock, her vision blank in the pitch blackness of the closet.

"Sakura?!" the shocked voice of the well-known birthday boy came from the darkness ahead.

"K-Kazakage-sama?" Sakura chirped in surprise. "Why are you in my closet?"

"Ask your _teammates_." He responded with an edge.

Sakura, twitching, rounded on the door. "NARUTO! SASUKE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Naruto's 'innocent' cheerful voice responded, "This is our present for Gaara-kun, of course."

"YOU IDIOTS I'M NOT EVEN DRESSED I'M IN A FRIGGEN TOWEL!" Sakura screeched, allowing her face to burn red in the darkness, hoping to melt the wooden door.

"Exactly." Sasuke responded. Then added, again with the smirking blow to his words, "Happy birthday, Gaara."

Their footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

"… Damn it." Sakura growled, chakra-fisting the door, only for it to be sucked away. "They are so fucking sneaky today…!"

"…"

"Kazakage-sama…? Are you still there…?"

"…y-your… only wearing… a… a towel…?"

In the other side of the dark room, where Gaara now had pressed all the way against the wall, Gaara- in the safety of the mask that was the darkness in the room- had a burning red face that could melt the sun. Sea foam eyes wide and staring into the darkness where Sakura's voice resounded from.

"A-ah… yeah… I-I had just gotten out of the shower… they jumped me…"

Sakura, the fist at the door clawing it slightly, bit her lip and looked at the door, her face as hot as Gaara's.

…

…The temperature in the room felt a few degrees warmer…

…

"…just… a towel…" Gaara's grumbling voice sounded from the darkness again, atone to breathless.

"U-uh… yeah…" Sakura squeaked slightly, her voice cracking. Inner, inside her head- of course- was rambling on and on about two things. Firstly, why the hell is this Gaara's present? If anything, it's a present for Sakura- who disagreed with inner, of course. Secondly, Inner was complaining that Sakura should use this moment to seduce Gaara, to which both were unaware that was _not_ necessary.

At least, they didn't know until the swish of the kage robes was heard, and a warm hand appeared firmly on her bare shoulder.

Sakura was turned around easily and pressed instead up against the wall, now with two hands firm and hot to her cool, still damp shoulders. "K-Kazak-"

"Gaara." He cut off, hot breath puffing in the pinkette's ear, sending mind-numbing shivers through every nerve in her skin.

"G-G-Gaara, wh-what are you-" Sakura started, but it turned into a light yip when his nimble fingers traced up from her shoulders, up her neck, before brushing his nails over her pulse, leaving her skin to burn in their trail.

He didn't answer, instead she felt more warm, skin crawling breath on her neck, his fingers on the other side of her head still teasing lightly as she felt him lick her neck, the appendage flexing over her skin. She groaned in a high-pitch tone, feeling him trace down slowly to her collar bone. Slowly back up, until she yipped again.

He paused there, and there was something like a breath of disappointment from the pinkette that brought him to make a low, grumbling chuckle. Sakura gasped when he bit softly onto her neck, both his hands planting onto her hips and pulling her flush against him.

The pressure of his hard chest against her own small, squishy breasts brought another meek grown, and unsure what to do with her hands that were caught between them, she fisted into cloth of his robes over his abs.

Gaara nipped, every now and then a little harsher, up her neck, almost apologetically kissing them sweetly, up her neck, one hand on her back to keep her pressed against him, the other on her butt, squeezing and rubbing and pressing her even closer.

Aimlessly her hands followed the contours of his chest and stomach, searching out every inch of the hard surface. Sakura gasped again as he bit that sweet spot again, earning a low groan. Gaara's smirk against her skin wasn't unnoticed as he sucked on that particular spot, earning a long, deep moan, the pinkette's hands finding his shoulders and digging in her nails.

Irritated, when he stopped again, she entangled one hand into his deep red locks, just visible in the black closet, forcing his face to hers, biting into his limp with another moan when his hand tightened on her backside again. She heard him growl, biting back and she could feel the rumble first hand before the pair devoured each other's mouth, his arms pulling her even tighter into him.

Her free hand pulled on the robes from his back, discovering the zipper on the back of them. She was already in only the loose, somewhat falling towel…

Inner's quiet goading was all that was necessary to make her fingers pinch onto the zipper tightly, tugging it down a good distance.

She was distracted when Gaara let out a short groan, and his hips grinded forward sharply, bringing her to chirp as they pulled back, panting for breath.

He must have lungs of steel, because when she only had half her breath back into her own, he was stealing it back gain, running his tongue all over her own, curling around it much like his arms now, the one resting on the small of her back snaking past the folds of the black towel, running over soft, smooth skin.

Irritated again with his long formal robes she pulled on the zipper again, pulling slightly on his messy red hair. Gaara bit back the need to keep tonguing her to pull back, panting again in rhythm with her, shouldering the accursed white-and-green robes off.

Not patient enough to do more then let her rip of the grey shirt he had warn under it, he dove back into stealing her mouth for himself, and Sakura groaning again at both the kiss and the hot expanse of muscle pressed onto her at the close proximity.

Her nails ran up his side, grazing the skin, bringing shivers up his back, as both Sakura and Gaara made another moan sound as the redhead's hips ground into hers again.

One hand roamed up and down her side, while the other tugged lightly at the back of her towel in its own form of begging permission. Sakura's only response was to return grind him once.

The action brought a surprisingly deep groan from Gaara, who promptly pulled the back of the towel harder than last, and it slid limply from her form. Pulling her as close as he could with one arm around her waist, another consecutive pair of moans came from the pair as his aching muscles met her cool skin.

Sakura panted heavily when he pulled back from her lips again, brought with a brief whimper at the loss. Gaara's amused chuckle rumbled from his chest before she gasped again, feeling him attach to her right nipple, hot on the perking point.

"G-Gaaraaaaaa…!" she mewed, sending another shiver up his spine.

He pulled back, pausing to take the tip with his teeth and pull. "Hmm?"

She couldn't respond as he continued to suck and bite, she could only make small gasps and groan, her nails digging into his back again as steadily she was leaned back onto the ground. "A-ahhh, Gaaraaaaa…" was what she eventually _did_ respond with.

Finally relieved of her weight, she sat on the ground, and Gaara between her legs, attached to her chest, his hand occupying the unattended breast and the other retaking its earlier place on her hip and trailing up and down her outer thigh.

Slowly Gaara worked downward from Sakura's chest, trailing kisses down her stomach as he had her lay , pausing to tease via running his tongue over her smooth skin again, earning a gasp or yip.

His hands retracted from her chest, both on her thighs, spreading her legs while her fingers fisted into the carpet. Her toes curled when that ever talented mouth of the Kazakage in both diplomacy and pleasure slid its tongue over her clit slowly, bringing along a sharp intake directly followed by Sakura low, throaty moan, "G-Gaaraaaaaa…"

He moaned into her again, making her shiver and shake as repeated, Sakura bucked and he chuckled, rolling his tongue into her and she grounded out the deepest note he'd ever heard from her.

As good as she tasted, he rose up again, crawling over her form, and finding her face again, he lifted up her head to him and stole back his domain that was her tongue. Sakura's arm wrapped around his neck and into his hair, the other running aimlessly around his sides and abdomen.

Her hand flowed lower without much purpose, and a nerve wracking shiver shook Gaara briefly in his place over her when she reached his waistline, halted from the smooth skin by the cloth of his pants.

Something like a growl of irritation rumbled in her throat, met when Gaara did a moan from the vibration and a chuckle from the reaction at the same time. Both her hands slithered down his sides, trailing their nails and earning more of those shivers she savored, pushing his pants downward.

The fisted hands that held him up on either side of her gripped the ground when a feral groan rumbled deep in his throat when he found space rather than the tightness of his pants.

Sakura made another mewling sound, noting obvious size. Gaara chuckled once more, however it was lost in a moan when her hands traveled into his boxers, rubbing her fingers up the sides of his hips before ultimately shoving the offending thing cloth down as well.

That feral growl found its way again when his member found the freedom of no physical restriction. Sakura chirped again when she found him positioned, tip to her entrance, and he leaned down, capturing her lips once again. Her hands found their way around his neck, preparing.

Gaara pressed forward slowly, and Sakura cried out slightly into his mouth as slowly his girth became buried, and slight tears built up in her tightly closed eyes.

Wincing, Gaara brought once hand up to the side of her face, breaking their kiss to press his forehead to hers. Sakura panted for a good few moments, and with a soft kiss on her lips he asked silently. Her nails dug in slightly harder, spurring him and wanting him to continue. He obliged, pulling back before thrusting once. She gasped and gurgled slightly, and he repeated, getting into a quicker groove as she moaned heavily.

"G… Gaa- Ahh- Gaaraaaa-aaahhh…!" she arched her back and groaned, Sakura's voice kicking up a few octaves.

"D… Damn…" Gaara groaned, "Y-you're so… _tight_…"

Her best response was another groan as he thrusted, and that _spot_ he hit… she arched so high she pressed up against him again, clutching to him tightly as she cried out his name again as her eyes rolled back in her head.

Just the sight of that, and the pressing of her up against him finished him off, in tune with Sakura, as she called out in a high tone, filling the warm explosion deep inside her, Gaara's groan as he tipped his head back filling her ears.

Sakura fell limply back, panting insanely hard as he pulled back out, before falling over beside her. Gaara closed his eyes for a second before they opened again, turning to look at her, his hot breath billowing as he reached a hand to her cheek. "…I love you, Sakura…"

Aching muscles dragged over the ground, clutching to his fingers. "I… love you so much…" she breathed, cupping his hand to her face, feeling like crying. "…so much…"

He smiled tiredly, closing his eyes again, "we still… get to kill them… right?"

Sakura laughed, nodding, and they both laughed a little. "hey… guess what?" she asked him, closing her eyes, too.

"hmm?"

"an hour ago… you thought I was going to be married to a… nonexistent ANBU… and then I jumped out of a cake naked."

"hottest cake ive ever had." He muttered, rolling over to face her. he dragged her hand over to him, placing a kiss on top. "and then I got the best birthday present ever."

Sakura giggled, and he smiled to himself. _Best birthday ever_.

…

…

…

Down stairs, the 'home movie' of Drunk Gaara admitting his serious love for Sakura and a reading of a page from Sakura's diary courtesy of Sasuke claiming her love for said Kazakage finished. The whole parties' attendance looked to the stairs, grinning.


End file.
